Of Balance, Legacies, and Spirits
by Tell-Me-Tales
Summary: He'd wanted to change the world, to make a difference. Ford thought he'd found his chance to do just that - until his brother ruined it for him. And when he'd lost his temper and raged over the injustice of it, the fire had answered and shattered everything he'd thought he'd known. [Avatar Ford][Starla][Mentioned War Atrocities][AO3 CrossPost]
1. Prologue

**Dimension 292**  
 **Southern Sea**  
 **Month 1, Year 81 AG**

The crew of the Fire Navy ship felt the collision, of course, but they had no reason to suspect that the crush of ice beneath the hull was in any way different from the hundreds of times it had happened before. The ship was specifically designed for travel inside the waters of the antarctic circle, after all, and the sensation of steel cutting its way through ice was a familiar one. The ship had continued to meet up with the rest of the Southern Raiders' vessels without incident and not one sailer ever gave a second thought to the submerged iceberg they'd hit during their patrol route.

Avatar Aang drowned beneath the waves. After over eighty years of continuous use, the avatar state was dispelled by the unknowing actions of a single Fire Nation vessel. The broken ice at the top of the domed iceberg allowed freezing water to rush in and fill the cavity before the young bender inside had the chance to regain consciousness, sapping what remained of his strength and stealing away the air he needed to survive. Aang died without waking from his decades-long sleep.

* * *

 **Southern Water Tribe**  
 **Month 10, Year 81 AG**

The avatar spirit didn't travel far for its next incarnation. The new avatar was a healthy, screaming babe that had inherited her father's amber eyes.

War is ugly, and the protracted conflict of this one had seen its share of unspoken traditions crop up on every side and in every culture it touched. Nearly all of them had been sparked by the people's anger and pain, crafted by the fires of hatred and fear, and left behind only the ashes of bitterness with their completion. The events before and after the birth of the newest avatar followed the same terrible patterns and traditions the war had long since established.

The woman didn't look at her child even once, born a full year-and-a-half after her husband had left with his fellow warriors, before the midwife took the baby away. Babes birthed with yellow eyes and too pale skin were not as uncommon as they should have been in what remained of the southern tribe, and this one was no different in that regard. Hearts hardened by the wrongs done against them, the tribe had developed its own way of dealing with their circumstances. (No one dared to speak of the haunted look in the mothers' eyes. If any of the mothers ever mourned for the children they had forsaken, none of them dared to speak the words aloud.)

Yet another unnamed, unwanted daughter was given over to the waves. Yet another avatar's life was claimed by the ocean in less than a year, both without a people either able or willing to mourn them.

* * *

 **Huo Lingyu Province**  
 **Month 6, Year 82 AG**

The avatar spirit went north to find its next host. It settled in a village nestled under the morning shadow of Mount Makapu.

The new avatar was born to a non-bending couple living a stone's throw away from the nearest Fire Nation colony, with six fingers on each hand and a twin following shortly on his heels. As his father grumbled over unexpected expenses, his mother cooed over him and his brother.

She caught one of his hands in her own and grinned down at him. "Oh, look at you! You're gonna be something special, kid. I've Seen it!" Her husband only scoffed, well used to her wild and often flawed predictions. Neither of the new parents would have any inkling of just how true her statement was until several years later.

And so began the legend of Avatar Ford.

* * *

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	2. Dragon 1: Firebender

**Huo Lingyu Province**  
 **Month 4, Year 99 AG**

Ford jerks back to attention from his sulk when his brother elbows him in his side. Lee nods at the entrance to the colony's lone school building as a familiar figure slips out the door. "There she is. Told you she'd come," Lee says with a grin before yelling across the street, "Oi! Hot Stuff! Over here!" Ford cringes away from his twin.

Carla jogs over to the alleyway they're loitering in and raises her eyebrows pointedly once she reaches them. "Well, if there was any chance of my father _not_ hearing about how I skipped final session today, it's gone now," the words are scolding but her smile is teasing, "So, what's up?"

Ford hunches his shoulders and contemplates the merits of trying to melt into the wall behind him. Of course, it's Fire Nation steel at his back so he probably wouldn't have any success. The cobblestones under his feet, however... Well, that's an option, he supposes.

Lee looks at him expectantly, which means Carla does, too. When he doesn't say anything, Lee prompts, "Ford?"

He presses his lips into a thin, stubborn line and looks away.

"Oh, come on!" Lee exclaims, "I get that you don't wanna tell Ma and Pops, but this is Carla! She ain't gonna tattle or nothing and we're gonna _need_ help on this one!"

Carla glances back and forth between them, smile dimming and a worried furrow beginning to form on her forehead. "Okay. Seriously, guys, what's going on?" she asks, laying a hand on Lee's shoulder. His twin pulls away with a sharp hiss and Carla's eyes go wide. "Are you _injured_?"

* * *

 _"I can't believe you did this to me!" Ford raged._

 _"I said I was sorry!" Lee tried again, "I didn't mean to piss him off! I swear! It just happened!"_

 _"If you'd just stayed away, everything would have been fine! But no!" Ford threw his arms over his head and both brothers failed to notice how the sconce on the wall of their home flared in response. "You had to tag along and you couldn't even behave yourself for a full hour!"_

 _"He insulted you!" Lee objected, "I wasn't going to let him get away with that!"_

 _"Lee, there have been people hurling slurs at me since the day we were born," he waved one of his six-fingered hands in his brother's face and the fire flickered, "This wasn't anything new. Professor Yi didn't even mean anything malicious by what he said. He was stating facts! Whether you like them or not! It barely registered that he'd said anything that could be considered insulting at all until you launched him twenty feet in the air for it!"_

 _Lee scowled. "First, it was closer to five. The guy is fine. Only thing bruised on him is his ego, so stop acting like I maimed the pompous ass. Second, if the rest of the professors at the university are like Yi, then they don't deserve you! You're smart, Ford! Scary, incredible, genius-level smart! Any university worth its salt in the Earth Kingdom - No! The world! - should be falling all over themselves to get you! Not talking down to you!"_

 _"Lee, this isn't your choice. It's mine! Ba Sing Se has one of the best libraries in the world! The university there produces the greatest scholars in the entire Earth Kingdom! Students of the Ba Sing Se University go on to change the world! They make real contributions! And you ruined my chance!"_

 _"There will be other chances! Better ones!"_

 _"There is no 'better'!" Ford slashed a hand through the air in front of him. The sconce's fire followed the motion in a horizontal arc before colliding with Lee's right shoulder. His brother screamed. Ford yelped, "Lee!"_

 _For one moment there was panic, confusion, and guilt. All of that was crushed under numb shock an instant later as the implications caught up with him. A missed opportunity to study in Ba Sing Se was suddenly the least of his concerns._

 _"Oh, spirits. What did I just do?"_

* * *

"Just a burn. Nothing to - Whoa!" Lee's voice drags him back from the too-recent memory, "Well, if I knew it would make you this eager to get me undressed, I'd let myself get scorched a bit more often."

"Not funny, Rockhead. Burns are serious!" Carla retorts, "Now shut up and let me see!"

"Relax, Hot Stuff. I'm fine. Promise! We swung by that fancy burn treatment center next to the training arenas on our way here. I'm all patched up!"

Carla tisks and frets as she examines newly applied bandages.

"He'll be alright. It's really not as large a burn as the bandages make it seem, and the healer said it wasn't deep enough to cause any major problems," Ford puts in before Carla can get too worked up. Guilt makes him add, "There might be some scarring, though."

"Well... Alright," Carla finally relents, going from fussing over a wound she isn't able to see for herself to helping Lee straighten the shirt she'd half-stripped him of only a minute ago, "If you're sure you'll be okay, Lee."

"Positive," he assures, stooping down slightly to kiss her.

Ford waits until they're done. There are days he wishes Lee and Carla had never started dating, days where he gets tired of feeling like a third-wheel and misses when they'd all simply been friends. Then there are days like today where he finds himself grateful that they tend to get absorbed in each other. It gives him time to think.

Ford takes a steadying breath and says, "We can tell Carla."

"Thank you," Lee says with an eye roll.

"That's great and all, but are either of you ever going to actually _tell me_ whatever the big secret is?"

"I - Well, it - That is, I - I'm, uh -" Ford flounders. He shifts his weight nervously and bites the inside of his lip. How does one make such a claim without sounding completely ridiculous? He shoots his twin a desperate glance.

Lee sighs loudly. "Might be easier to show than tell." He returns Ford's searching gaze and receives a hesitant nod in response. "Right. Hey, Carla, can you make one of those little flames you like to play with."

"Sure," she agrees but neither twin misses the obvious confusion on her face as she complies. Carla raises her hand and snaps her fingers, conjuring a small flame that floats a few inches over her palm. She sets the fire to spin and dance with absent bending. It's almost calming in its familiarity.

Ford breathes - That's supposed to be important in firebending, right? That's what Carla's always saying, anyway. - and tries to find a connection to the fire in his chi. Hesitantly, clumsily he takes over control for Carla's small flame. The fire sputters and for a second he thinks it's going to gutter out before he's able to stabilize its burn slightly better.

Carla's eyebrows shoot up her forehead and she turns around, searching for the culprit. He feels his cheeks flush when he realizes her eyes are scanning near the ground for children that might be playing pranks. He supposes that his control is about at that level but it still stings his pride a bit.

Ford clears his throat, recapturing her attention, before carefully reaching out with both hands and scooping up the struggling fire. The flame smooths out some, easier to maintain now that it is literally close at hand, but it continues to snap and spark under his efforts.

Carla's eyes widen. Her jaw actually drops. "That's impossible," she insists, "You can't - You're not - Your parents are Earth Kingdom citizens! You shouldn't be able to - It's not possible! How are you _doing_ that? _Are_ you do that? Both of you are earthbenders! You're not supposed to be able to firebend, too!" Her gaze flickers from him to Lee.

Lee snickers at her dumbfounded look. "If your next question is if I can do that, the answer is no. Just Ford. And yes, he can still earthbend."

"Agni's eternal flame," Carla whispers as she finally puts the pieces together, her eyes still saucer-wide as she stares at Ford and the fire cradled in his hands, "You're the avatar."

* * *

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	3. Dragon 2: Loyalty

"Sweet spirits, you're the _avatar_!" Carla repeats in a something of a hushed shriek, anxiety and fear replacing her previous shock. It's Ford's first clue that he _missed_ something big in his calculations.

The firebender snuffs out the sputtering flame and grabs his hand in one motion. She then spins on her heel, snags the edge of Lee's sleeve in her free hand, and promptly begins dragging them both after her as she speed walks out of the alley and down the road.

"Uh, Carla?" Lee asks, "Where are we going?"

"My place," she answers, voice tight, "where I can panic in relative privacy."

"So _you_ can panic?" Ford questions, his voice cracking like it hasn't since he was fourteen.

"You can freak out, too," Carla promises without slowing her pace.

Lee snorts in amusement beside him.

Ford fails to find anything funny about the situation. But then, he doubts Lee has thought beyond old legends of amazing feats performed by the previous avatars.

Certainly his brother can't have yet realized that as the situation stands now, he's a relatively young, barely trained avatar living on the doorstep of the Fire Nation. The Fire Nation! As in the same nation responsible for the wholesale slaughter of the Air Nomads - which they did in an attempt to get rid of the avatar, by the by! And did he put a healthy distance between himself and the people that wanted him, specifically, dead? No! In fact, he'd let Lee talk him into doing the exact opposite of that! They'd gone straight to a Fire Nation citizen and... And then they'd... Oh, no.

That's it, he realizes. That's what he _missed_. Ford feels sick. Spirits, he must be the stupidest avatar to have ever existed.

Even if Carla _doesn't_ turn him over, like he and Lee are gambling on, all that will mean is that he's made her a traitor to her people. Fire Nation traitors get publicly executed, usually with a side of interrogation. If she's caught...

Pale gold eyes glance back at him before Carla squeezes his hand. He forces himself to loosen the vice grip he has on hers.

What has he done?

* * *

 _Huo Lingyu was a province in the north-west of the Earth Kingdom continent. Early in the rule of Fire Lord Azulon the region had been used as a testing ground for the advancement of the Fire Nation's army. The province's relative proximity to the Mother Islands and lack of strategic importance made it convenient for trying new technologies and techniques in real battlefields. Eventually, however, the war moved on to focus on other locations with more attractive assets. The colonies that had been established continued to be maintained, but neither Fire Nation nor Earth Kingdom saw the region as valuable enough to expend more troops than were needed to secure the area's prolonged stalemate._

 _Decades after the last significant push from either power saw changes to the province that neither side was truly aware of and the way of life in Huo Lingyu merely continued to slip under the notice of any outside the province. People safe inside their walled Earth cities or living on the Mother Islands likely couldn't imagine the almost casual coexistence of their two nations' people after so many years of war. Soldiers and civilians caught on the more active warfronts could only dream of knowing such peace in their own daily lives. Huo Lingyu was not perfect but, in a world scarred by war, the stable ceasefire was a sanctuary._

 _It also allowed for some unlikely introductions._

 _"Carla! What have I told you about wandering off?"_

 _Ford and Lee froze. They turned in sync to face a Fire Nation woman with a dozing toddler in her arms. Their new playmate only grinned up at the woman. "Sorry, Momma! But look! I made friends!"_

 _The woman took in her young daughter's tousled hair and dirt-smeared form. Then she looked over the two little boys dressed in green clothes with newly scorched edges._

 _Carla's mother laughed._

* * *

Carla drops their hands in order to open her home's front door. "Sit," she instructs shortly, pointing to the low table in the living room. She disappears beyond the doorway that leads to the kitchen.

Lee closes the door behind him. "Ford?" his brother asks when he doesn't move.

Ford manages to get a tiny, terrified squeak past his lips.

Lee rolls his eyes and herds his twin toward the table. "Yeesh," he gripes lightly, "You're a wreck. Calm down already, buddy."

"I miscalculated," he says as he collapses onto the nearest cushion, "We shouldn't have told her."

"Oh, for -" Lee groans, "We just went over this! You can keep the whole, big avatar secret to yourself! Carla isn't going to rat you out to anyone!"

"That's the problem!"

His twin frowns. "Wadda ya mean?"

Ford looks at him with wide eyes. "Lee, the Fire Nation wants the avatar _dead_. That's me. If Carla doesn't turn me over, it's _treason_. This could get her _killed_!"

"Shit! The war." Lee's eyes widen to match his. "I forgot."

"How do you forget a war that's been going on for almost a hundred years!" Ford demands.

"It always seemed like someone else's problem! It hasn't touched Huo Lingyu since before we were born!" Lee hissed back, "We walk through the colony's front door almost every day to see Carla! Most'a the guards wave at us on our way in! Spirits, I can't even remember the last time I thought of the colonies around here as 'Fire Nation' instead of 'walled in, rich people cities'! I don't think I _ever_ thought of Carla as Fire Nation - even with the bending. You?"

Ford hesitates. "No," he admits, "not in so far as the war goes, anyway."

Carla bustles back into the room, juggling a teapot and three cups in her arms. "So," she says, voice shaking just slightly, "what's the plan?"

Ford squeaks again.

Lee rubs the back of his neck and mutters, "Um, we don't know?"

Carla fumbles in setting down the last teacup but recovers quickly. She hasn't bothered with the saucers she usually insists on using, some tiny part of Ford notes. Carla grabs the pot with both hands and sighs unreservedly - she nearly groans, really. A flame lights beneath the teapot. The youngest of their number breathes deeply and the fire breathes with her. Stray tongues of flame curl up the sides of the ceramic vessel. Ford supposes it's safe to say he isn't the only one who's a wreck.

"Right. I shouldn't be surprised by that. Why else would you two rockheads need me?" Carla's golden eyes flicker between them for a moment. "Let's start at the beginning, then."

* * *

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	4. Dragon 3: Crises

"Ford, you're the avatar. What do you _want_ to do?"

Her question catches him unprepared, and Ford spits out the first - too honest - answer that comes to him. "Hide. Find a hole somewhere and never come out again."

Carla bursts into hysterical giggles. The flame under the teapot wavers dangerously before she snuffs it out and clumsily sets the pot down on the table. Lee looks like he's afraid they've broken her. Personally, Ford's impressed she's holding up as well as she is - considering the circumstances. Carla cuts off her laughter with a low moan and buries her face in her hands. "Got room for one more in that hole?"

"Sorry," Ford whispers.

"No, it's okay," Carla says, dropping her hands. "It probably wouldn't be that hard, even," she muses, "All you'd have to do is walk off and get lost somewhere in the Earth Kingdoms. Settle down someplace nice or keep traveling until you're old and gray, whichever. No one's really still looking for the avatar. I mean, the lights got everyone's attention a while back, but most of the scholars can't agree on where in the elemental cycle the current avatar was supposed to be born. And even if they guess right, the Earth Kingdom is a big place to search. It would make tracking you down a nightmare for anyone so long as you keep your head down." Carla frowns, bites her lip, and then asks, "Just... Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

"What are my other options?" Ford asks, hands fisting in his hair, "Everyone expects the avatar to do _something_ about the war! Do I start leading attacks? For which side? The Earth Kingdom? The Fire Nation? Do I try to stay neutral somehow? Avatar Kyoshi cut off a piece of the Earth Kingdom and created an island once, but I don't think I could do that for every Fire Nation colony that's been started in the last hundred years. Huo Lingyu alone would be a nightmare, even if I had the capabilities! The whole province is dotted with Fire colonies surrounded by Earth villages."

There's silence for a moment, and then, "Why would you fight for the _Fire Nation_?" Lee seems to realize what he's said (and who he said it in front of) a split-second after it comes out of his mouth and tries to backpedal, "Uh - I mean, not that there's anything _wrong_ with - Um, I didn't - That is -"

Carla waves him off. "It's fine, Lee. Actually, it's a really good question. Avatar Roku was _from_ the Fire Nation, and it's pretty well documented that he blew his top over Fire Lord Sozin's plans." She and his brother look at him expectantly.

"Well, I'm not Roku, am I?" he grumbles, feeling suddenly defensive. More clearly he says, "The old legends all say that the avatar is supposed to maintain the world's 'balance' but none of them clearly outline what that balance is supposed to look like. If the balance of the nations were to be judged strictly on geographical size, then it would actually be the Earth Kingdom that is out of balance and needs to be pared down. That's a grossly oversimplified example, and Roku obviously didn't see it that way, but the point stands that there aren't any set guidelines. And I can't even try to piece together a set of rules based on past avatars, because they all contradict each other! I've studied the avatars from Roku back through Yangchen and all of them - all of them! - came to different conclusions and decisions for any given comparable situation!

"How am I supposed to know what to do? Who decided that the avatar should have the power to make world-altering choices? And why should they be responsible for maintaining the world's balance, anyway? They're not perfect, or all-knowing. Their decision-making isn't at all uniform or consistent or based on anything stronger than _personal opinion_ from what I can tell. They're all just," Ford searches for the right word, "individuals! They're individuals who just _happen_ to be the avatar. There's no qualifiers! No requirements for, for wisdom, or intellect, or even commitment! Yangchen was so dedicated she repeatedly sacrificed her own Air Nomad beliefs to fulfill her role as avatar, but, following her, Kuruk was so self-absorbed he managed to draw the wrath of the spirits! Why does the avatar even exist? Why should any one individual have that much power over the fate of the world?"

Lee and Carla are staring at him. After that outburst - an entire, impromptu speech - he supposes that's to be expected. Ford takes a shaky breath and runs a hand through his hair, nails scraping against his scalp in agitation.

"Okay, let's, uh, come back to the whole avatar-moral-crisis-thing some other time, alright, buddy?" Lee tries once it's clear that no one knows what to say. He places a steadying hand on his shoulder. "I think you're too wound up to figure it out right now."

Ford nods miserably and keeps his gaze locked on the corner of the table.

"Anyway," Lee says, turning to Carla, "back to more basic avatar stuff, Ford needs help with his firebending."

"Wait. Me?" Carla squeaks.

His brother shrugs. "Who else?"

"Lee, I can't teach the avatar firebending!" She flails her arms in a vague gesture at Ford. "He needs to _master_ the elements. I'm nowhere near a master!"

"No," Lee draws the word out. "Right now he just needs to learn how to avoid setting things on fire when he gets upset."

It's quiet for too long, and then, "Lee, how exactly did you get burned?"

"Oh, uh, well, it, um..."

Ford sighs. She already knows the answer. He may as well just confess. "I did it."

"But he didn't mean to!" Lee cuts in quickly, "We were arguing, and he got pretty hacked off, and it's not like either of us knew there was a possibility that fire would start flying through the air just 'cause Ford got mad! It's not his fault!"

Carla groans. "Right, Ford needs to learn basic control. That shouldn't be a big deal. I can help with that. ...Oh Agni, I'm going to mess up the avatar's training."

Ford resists the urge to roll his eyes. Doing so wouldn't help anything.

"Hey now, that's not true," Lee says, "You helped your sister with her bending, right?"

"Well, yes, but..." Carla grimaces and doesn't finish the sentence. She doesn't need to. It's no secret that Cassie doesn't think much of her older sister's bending abilities.

"I trust you," Ford states, drawing the other two's attention back to him, "I realize you're not a master, but it's like Lee said, I just need you to teach me the basics. We can figure something else out after that. Besides, I learned earthbending shoulder-to-shoulder with Lee." He jerks a thumb at his brother with a smirk and says, "I promise he's seen to it that my training has already been 'messed up' plenty. You were there for a few of his more _brilliant_ earthbending ideas that didn't exactly go to plan."

"Hey! You've had plenty of your own genius earthbending _experiments_ that went off the tracks, too!"

"True enough," Ford agrees easily.

Carla relaxes little by little as the twins continue their light bickering. This much, at least, remains unchanged and blessedly normal.

* * *

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